There was an old saying, “A man never knows how unimportant he is until he goes to his own wedding.” It was ALL about the bride. Today, many men are more interested in making the wedding a shared experience, a day for the bride and groom to celebrate—and be celebrated—together. And most harried brides—and their harried mothers—will be grateful for the help and input. From personalizing the ceremony and the vows, choosing music that has special meaning, accompanying his fiancée on her wedding errands, planning an event for their about-to-be-joined families—the groom can make a significant contribution.
If you are the type of man who would like to be involved, where do you start? Right from the beginning! Today’s groom often takes a full partner’s role in planning the wedding: choosing the date and the location for the ceremony and the reception; agreeing on a budget; selecting attendants; setting the size of the guest list; and agreeing about the style of the wedding (formal, informal, themed, religious, secular). He attends meetings with caterers and other service providers to iron out the details. He spends time with the bride making gift registry selections and he shares in writing the thank you notes.
There is one area where you, the groom, can be of invaluable help: including your parents, especially your mother, in the planning. Because she does not have the duties of the mother of the bride, the mother of the groom may feel a bit left out of all the planning hoopla. Be a good communicator. Keep your mother up to date on all the latest details of the wedding plans, and make sure that she knows that her input and advice are welcome and valued.
